My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She bit a glass in half.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
