Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
