Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
