fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Four minutes until I can fart!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
did you just send me my own nude
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
