We tried having a conversation with our noses.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
