i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
