Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
