it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
