North Korea, Best Korea!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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