Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
