She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
