i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
