She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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