i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
