That's intense
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
