i permit you to call me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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