Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
