Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
