You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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