my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
