i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
