how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
