She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
