my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
