I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
