so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
