We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize