Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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