I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
