I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
