i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
