I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
