So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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