Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
