That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
