You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
