Will you blow on my dice?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize