but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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