I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
