yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize