"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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