tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
