I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
