He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
as a side note pls kill me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
