How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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