i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
