Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
