My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
