margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
