don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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