Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
