Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
