I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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