Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
