I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
