id be glad to
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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