You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
