youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
