Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
